Hurray! Chemo is on later today!! I had a blood test in Exeter yesterday and we drove there again this morning for the results and a meeting with the oncologist. So I’ll return this afternoon for 5 hours of chemo, then the pump will be fitted into my PICC line and I’ll have to return tomorrow evening to have it removed.

Neil and I had such a lovely time with Des, Eve and little Soloman in Centerparcs earlier this week and rather sadly we had to leave half way through our booking to have my blood test. Neil swam and swam with them in the huge aqua pool which was perfect for toddlers. All of them whizzed down the slides and Solomon LOVED it. His cousin Jessica in Australia is such a strong swimmer at 4 years old, so Sollie has 2 years to catch up.

Unfortunately I left my arm protection for my PICC line behind so didn’t chance swimming for risk of infection, but Neil and I enjoyed cycling around the park seeing all the facilities. My new electric bike worked brilliantly up the hills as Neil pedalled hard, and we are really looking forward to more cycle rides now I’m out and about more. I am still often very tired, but we manage it well with plenty of rest and our lovely decorator still painting away upstairs.

Cara’s coming to stay this weekend which I’m really looking forward to. We’re taking her to the Culmstock Panto Saturday night, which will be a totally new experience for her as it’s aimed high above the children heads and directly into adult humour! Its usually very, very funny playing on our local village characters.

So after today, just one more treatment to go. I’m booked in for a blood test on 7th Feb and final chemo on the 8th Feb. But since I’ve always failed the 2 weekly blood test chemo might well be delayed, but just 1 last time. Yay!!

We were so surprised to find out that my neutrophils and white blood cell counts were really low after my blood test yesterday. All was extremely well last week and I feel fine. I’m eating well and gaining weight, but they’ve delayed chemo until next Thursday 25th January. I guess my body simply doesn’t like chemotherapy and there’s nothing I can do about it except wait for the blood counts to recover.

I’m so have to be very careful about going to crowded places as I can easily catch bugs from people next to me. So no hugging at choir, or rugby, or anywhere. If you don’t feel well, 2m is a safe distance from me.

At home Neil’s been busy working as a locum and I’m loving getting the bedrooms painted, choosing curtains with Neil and drilling holes in walls for new curtain rails. Once upstairs is finished we can start on the garden as it was neglected all last year due to the wedding and ‘stuff’.

I feel fine about these delays. It just comes with the territory and there’s no point getting upset or anything. There are far too many good things happening in our lives and I’m just about to pick up the electric drill again. I love getting the jobs done. My next update will be next Wednesday after my next blood test. Fingers crossed as I really want to get on with it.

Neil and I had such a great day yesterday. We watched Exeter Chiefs THRASH Montpellier at Sandy Park. It was so exciting. Three of our 6 tries were scored right under our noses. For me, it was even more than amazing rugby, it was Neil and me beginning to resume normal life. What could be a better start than a great rugby victory?

The day before we went to Sidmouth where Neil swam, as part of his polar bear challenge, in the cold sea, ruddied from recent landslides. While he warmed up over a hot chocolate, I shopped… and shopped (successfully) for curtains. Then we went to the cinema where we thoroughly enjoyed the new Churchill film, then went home to have takeaway fish and chips.

I had a blood test last Wednesday and ALL the indicators were normal, which is such great news, so I’m on course to complete the next chemo session on Thursday the 18th. If I continue at this rate, I’ll be fine for my final chemo session on 1st Feb.

So, as you see, I’ve responded very well to this 75% chemo dose. It did make me feel a little sick for about 5 days and I’ve lost enjoyment of most food. Water and many other things taste either like metal or have no taste at all, but I am eating, and that’s the key. Even if I don’t feel like eating, I force myself to eat a decent amount and I’ve put on a little weight. My energy is slowly coming back and as the chemo wears off I’m even enjoying some foods such as fish and chips and curries.

I’ve been careful not to ‘overdo’ things with my returning energy and a walk up to the beacon is a little way away yet, but is most definitely my next goal. I’ve been trying to conserve my calorie intake to put on weight instead, although I’m afraid I couldn’t resist picking up the paint brushes and making a start on decorating the house. I absolutely love designing and decorating and its been so frustrating not being able to put our own ideas into our new home. But I did get too carried away and it exhausted me, so we’ve employed a great chap who started yesterday. Instead, my job is ideas and SHOPPING!!!!

Even more good news is that friends are popping in for coffee and a hot tub. Its a good idea to text first, but we love seeing our friends again. Neil and I are slowly emerying from our reclusive (and quite romantic) few months, but with the flu bug still running rampant out there, I’m still staying away from our warm, bustling, cosy pub and other crowded places. I’m so determined to catch no bugs and complete this chemo course. (The new pump worked first time by the way. It was rather bulky to have strapped to my waist or under the pillow for 24 hours but thankfully it was reliable)

We did have one more surprise last this week. I found one of our doves in our sitting room…cooing and pooing! He must have fallen down the chimney. He was so warm and happy inside, and possibly traumatised, that it took a lot of coaxing to get him (or her) to fly outside again and he spent the night in the warmth of our front porch where he deposited a rather large amount of dove poo for such a beautiful little bird. We were rather worried about him during the chilly night and were very relieved to see him join the other 7 the next morning to fly around our roof. Maybe he’s a loner as we often think we are down to 7 doves, then he returns to complete the flock of 8.

So…. next chemo is Thursday, with the pump fitted again and removed on Friday. Then I suspect I’ll go through a similar two weeks as this current 2. I still have 4 well days ahead of me before the next chemo and my lovely sister Toni is coming to stay. My hair is still falling out and I’ve started wearing the wig, but I still have enough wispy hair to look vaguely OK. Hats are great in this weather anyway.

All is well. Very well indeed as we start planning our life without Deirdre.

Look who came to visit during my chemo today ! Eve and Des timed their lunch breaks to say hello. It was lovely. Scrabble with Neil was fun too. We didn’t finish so it was declared a draw.

This chemo ward is so busy with staff rushed off their feet. I sometimes feel like I’m an Avatar in a lab full of people being pumped full of magical chemicals. I dream I’ll emerge as an 8′ tall beautiful blue woman determined to save the forests with my 9′ tall handsome blue husband.

Anyway, dreams aside, when my chemo is finished they’ll fit me with a ball pump which will be attached to my PICC line dripping drugs into me overnight. It didn’t work last time so fingers crossed it will work tonight. When it failed in December it added 2 extra day trips to Exeter to the initial 2 day trips and delayed the whole process by days. All rather tiring.

However this PICC line is very useful. I’m never pricked these days by nurses searching for decent veins. They simply plug into my PICC line to take blood tests or administer my chemotherapy. The only inconvenience is having to keep it absolutely sterile and dry in the bath, hot tub and shower, but I’m quite used to wearing the water proof protector now. Unlike my previous chemo and time in Plymouth, I no longer have bruised hands and arms where the needles went in. The PICC line is a tube which emerges out of my body near my left bicep protected by a sterile clear bandage and not visible under my winter clothes. I’ll be happy when it’s gone but I do enjoy not having a cannula fitted each visit.

I feel fine today. Just a little tired but that’s partly the steroids stopping me sleeping. Oh yes! I almost forgot to mention my steroid induced shopping spree yesterday. I bought lots of things for the house including some beautiful bedding which will give us the colour schemes for painting the bedrooms. Retail therapy cures all!!! Luckily for Neil, I only take them for the 3 days surrounding my chemo day, and when they wear off I could sleep for England with absolutely no inclination for shopping. The decorating can wait. But I’m itching to start when my energy levels return.

Wow! I had fish and chips with Neil last night and 2 eggs on toast for breakfast this morning!!…. and no mad dashing to the loo. I am truly amazed at the remarkable powers of recovery our bodies have. 10 days ago I was in hospital with a temperature of 39.5 (103F), barely able to eat or drink, and now I’m feeding myself up with good food and hopefully getting back to normal protein and potassium levels. Who would have thought it? I’ve sorted out all the cupboards post Xmas and got the house back to normal. It feels great.

Now that I know how well I can recover, once the chemicals are out of my system, I’m pretty much looking forward to my next chemo tomorrow. I hope I pass my blood tests today. That would mean 2 chemo’s down and only 2 to go. Dr Toy has reduced the chemo levels to 75% of what I had last time so I probably won’t be nearly as unwell. It’s all good news.

I am so aware of the stresses on the NHS at the moment and I could not imagine my chemotherapy being delayed due to lack of resources as some on the news have encountered. I do hope the government takes note and helps this appalling situation.

Hair: I did make an appointment for today to have my hair chopped off, but there’s not enough hair left, so I cancelled it. I woke up yesterday morning with a huge ball of falling out hair matted at the back of my head which I couldn’t untangle. I spent an hour in the bath smothering it with conditioner to untangle, but it just ended up in my hands. So the only solution was to cut it off there and then. I’d been moulting handfuls of hair all over the place for weeks and I feel so much better now it’s gone. There’s still just enough that I’m not completely bald yet but the wig is at the ready. I wore it New Year’s Eve and it was fine until it started slipping backwards. So if you see me anywhere with a wonky wig you MUST tell me. I’m not embarrassed at all. Just give it a tweak for me.

I’ve been a natural blonde all my life and it’s interesting how dark it’s become with the top sunny layers falling out, leaving me with this dull dark blonde colour. When my new hair returns, Neil and I are going to have to spend weeks and weeks in sunny climates getting me back to my natural blonde state. I know I’ve been lucky and spoilt by having such easy hair but I’d hate to start having to colour it. Anyway that’s a while away yet. It might turn into a frizzy mess! Who knows?

Our 8 beautiful glistening white doves are still with us. Heaven knows how they are coping with this stormy weather, but they do, and give us so much pleasure. Chemo tomorrow. There are certainly many, many worse situations for most to deal with chemotherapy. I’m a very lucky lady.