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Wednesday:

I have to start by saying I feel absolutely great as I’ve just had my last radiotherapy. They always ask so many questions about my health, but really they want to know if my heart and lungs are OK. This ‘collateral damage’ has always been at the back of my mind during radiotherapy which is why I haven’t moved a millimetre in the sessions. I don’t feel I’ve been damaged at all (fingers crossed) as Neil and I walked up the beacon last evening and I was fine. I’m not fit, but that’s just a matter of time. I will be, and thats the point.

So……. yesterday (Tuesday) I had my first hiccup, but rather a nice hiccup. I’m not sure if I’ve said before, but I’ve had to have a blood test every Monday, before each chemotherapy session to check that my white blood cell count is strong enough to withstand the treatment. Well yesterday, they called me in early as my white blood cell count was very low from Monday’s test, and maybe things might have improved during the night. Neil and I jumped in the car and set off for Exeter.

They fitted the cannula straight away and took my blood and we waited. Fitting the cannula isn’t so easy as the treatment progresses, as the veins in my hands and arms get thinner and it took a second nurse to find a suitable vein. I kept smiling as they were doing their best, but I did think “ouch” more than a couple of times. In the mean time the doctor came to see me as they’d noticed the skin rash on my arm which I explained had spread to my back. I don’t mind any of these side effects as they seem so insignificant compared to the horrendous reactions I thought I might get from chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I just needed some steroid cream, that’s all.

The nurse returned with the blood test results which she discussed with the doctor and they concluded that my white blood cell count (150 instead of 350) was far too low for me to receive chemotherapy. For a while both Neil and I thought we’d have to come back later in the week, but no!! I’m done!!  Cooked! This particular chemo was designed to expose and weaken the Deirdre cells for the radiotherapy to kill them off, and since I only had 2 more radiotherapy treatments, I’d need no more chemo!!

WOW!!!! The END!!! No more damaging chemo for a long while, no more cold cap to contend with, or masses of steroids to keep me awake at night and all those pills I’ve been taking to counteract side effects. Suddenly it was all over and even my hair has rarely looked so good as I’ve been so careful with it.

So off we went for a quick trip to radiotherapy and Neil drove us home. Tiredness being the main side effect, I grabbed some sleep and then, as it was such a beautiful day, we walked up to the beacon. I needed the fresh air and that beautiful view, and maybe I was testing myself a little. I walked slower than usual, but apart from that I was fine. We sat on the hand crafted Millennium bench watching the house martins swoop around us, as we gazed across the rolling Devon valleys to Dartmoor in the far distance. It’s a breathtaking view which differs with every visit, with the changing light, winds and weather.  And later that Tuesday night, pill free, I slept 10 hours!! Wow.

Today, our dear friend Wendy, drove me in for my final radiotherapy, then we went shopping to Dart’s Farm to celebrate. Its a huge local store full of design ideas, Aga equipment, sporting goods, great local food and more. I can put all my treatment behind me and focus on the next stage, which is to get well and fit.

We have 24th October pencilled in for surgery, but nothing has been confirmed yet and I have a CT scan booked for 1st October to see the results of all my treatment.

I’m sure I’ll need blood tests to keep an eye on my white blood cell count. With little immune system operating in me at the moment, I need to avoid crowds as any infection I might pick up could be pretty nasty. Neil reckons I should be OK in a week.

Thursday:

Since I have promised to be very honest in this blog, I’ll explain how I am physically at the end of this first stage.

Tiredness: Alas, I didn’t sleep well last night, so I guess it might take a little while to return to normal sleep patterns. As long I can grab some sleep during the day, I recover well and enjoy a normal life. I’ve been dying to get on with jobs around the house such as painting and gardening. Finally we’ve organised the tool shed. Yay!

The radiotherapy has been burning and killing cells in the base of my oesophagus, so it feels a bit like a dead weight sitting above my stomach. Swallowing has become pretty painful, especially drinking water so I’m trying hard to keep my fluids up by sipping. I’m off tea, coffee, alcohol, fruit juices and anything acidic. Luke warm sweet milk is good. Our friend Pip made an amazing smoothie the other day with cucumber, apples, grapes, spinach etc etc and it was delicious. A few foods I love and slip down relatively easily, but others get stuck and I have to walk around the room a few times to give it chance to pass though. Its more unpleasant and inconvenient than terribly painful. I eat very carefully and stick to bland flavours as I no longer enjoy herbs or spices. Of course, all this will improve each day I heal, post treatment. I’d love to be able to swig down a cool glass of water when I’m thirsty.

The final side effect is skin rashes. Well, I HAVE to disagree with the advice I was given about Mole Valley mint scented udder cream. Its AWFUL!!! When the rash reached most of my body a week or so ago, I smothered myself with the stuff before bed. I stank and stuck to the sheets! Ugh!! The mint made my skin so cool that I had to switch on the electric blanket, so the udder cream scent filled the bedroom. I felt like a giant sticky Kendall’s mint cake. If I hadn’t been so tired, I’d have showered it off straight away, which I did first thing in the morning. And I washed the sheets. This stuff is designed for cows’ udders and is definitely not for me. I’ve gone back to my faithful Dove products. Neil says he didn’t mind sleeping next to a Kendall’s mint cake and might use it one day!! NO WAY!!! Its going straight to the kind farmer next door.

So, apart from being a recluse for a week, life will get back to normal. We’re hoping to go away for a holiday before surgery, but we cant plan anything until we have a confirmed date. We’ll keep walking up our beautiful beacon and beyond as I get fitter and fitter. I couldn’t feel better.

These photos were taken before the wedding by our wedding photographer Jonathan Neale of Exeter. We’d thoroughly recommend him and his wife Isobel as excellent photographers and such a pleasure to work with. 

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My 5th chemo and 17th radiotherapy

I heard some nice comments today at chemo. I asked why there are no other coldcap patients and the nurses explained that some keep their hair anyway and some others aren’t brave enough. That’s hard to understand as I hate pain and I’m not brave at all. I just wanted to keep my hair for the wedding so I was simply determined. As I described before, it’s just like a 20 minute migraine which I know will end. Today I’m so used to the cold cap that I fell asleep wearing it! It seems a shame if people lose their hair unnecessarily as once the first 20 mins are done it’s absolutely fine. And when it comes off it gives you that fantastic sensation of freedom and comfort which you get when you take your ski boots off at the end of an exhilarating day. I’m so glad I persevered as my hair has never been so well conditioned. It looks better than ever and I’m getting it cut on Friday.

Talking about skiing, Neil asked my surgeon today if we were mad to go ahead with our booked ski holiday leaving on 25th Feb 2018. He said go for it!!! What a goal that will be for my recovery. Many non skiing partners in our group go on interesting walks every day so I’ll have a choice of activities. Numbers are down this year so if you’d like to come, please email me straight away. We’re going to Canazei in the Dolomites in Italy for a week. The skiing is amazing as it’s connected to 12 other ski resorts. The group’s skiing abilities vary from nothing to  beginners to very experienced so all levels are welcome. We went there 2 years ago and it included a day in Venice on the way. This year we’re traveling via Innsbruck where we can spend some time. It’s always great fun for skiers and non skiers alike.

Anyway, back to Deirdre. I’m a strange cookie. I actually felt excited about going to chemo today as I’m nearing the end of this part of the treatment with only 1 more chemo to go and I’m very aware of the damage being done to me. Our dear friend Heather Radmore drove me in and the lovely Anna Lisa Taylor drove me home. Our friends are ganging up on me and won’t let me drive on chemo days. It’s so very kind of them as Neil was at work. I’m still very happy to drive on radiotherapy days as driving relaxes me.

And our friends were right really. I was warned that I’d start feeling very tired in these last 2 treatment weeks and despite my inner beliefs that I’m invincible, the oncologist was also right. I keep taking cat naps, and if I fall sleep I’m fine for quite a while. But then I am also recovering from planning a huge wedding so I’d probably be feeling tired anyway. We’re still mopping up the last wedding bits and we finally opened all our cards on Sunday. Thanks to EVERYONE for our cards and generous donations to the OPA charity. Neil reached much further than his £5000 goal and we are all so very grateful.
We’re going to support our local cancer charity FORCE with any further donations from the wedding and others. If you send cheques or money to me I can gift aid it in the donation. So far we’ve collected over £400. Thank you. FORCE have a friendly drop in centre at the hospital where we can chill with a cup of tea. Their volunteers come round all the cancer wards with free tea, coffee, sandwiches and biscuits for family and friends alike. Without this we’d be ordering lunch from cafes etc. They counsel people struggling and give massive support to families. They subsided my wig (which I’ll need with the next post-op chemo) and give free massages and beauty treatments for us patients. As our hair falls out and our faces pale,  these caring people become will invaluable to us keeping our spirits up.
The side effects of my treatment have started now and I can see why everyone told me to put on weight as I’m struggling to eat. I’ve been getting ideas from OPA and I’m experimenting with different foods to find out which travel easily through the radiated area of my throat. Anything warm and bland with no spices work. Luke warm sweet tea is good. The area at the bottom of my gullet is very sore inside due to the radiotherapy. Cold and hot drinks hurt too much and I have zero interest in alcohol. I’m doing my best to keep my weight up and polished off most of a huge cheesecake left over from the wedding which is great. I ate a Sunday roast in the pub. So long as I chew hard and eat warm food which doesn’t stick to anything then I can eat. But I am having towork very hard at it these days.
Also I’ve developed a skin rash on my arms and chest. Neil reminded me that our skin is our largest organ and all my organs are being battered by the chemotherapy. Out came Mole Valley’s cow’s udder cream today. I smiled as I applied it. I’ve got some expensive cream but it’s perfumed so maybe Mole Valley ( where every decent Devon farmer shops for everything a farmer needs) is the beautician of the day!!! It does make me giggle although I’ve only used it once on my arm. 
I’ve been affected rather painfully “down below” as the late northern comedian, Les Dawson would have confided whilst dressed rather badly in woman’s clothes and pointing south behind his baggy skirt. A fungal infection. Fortunately my GP ( aka Neil for prescriptions) ordered remedies for me to collect from the local dispensary so it’s already under control. My poor body is receiving a massive assault on my healthy tissues, but can you imagine what Deirdre is receiving? She’s being poisoned into extinction and burned alive by this machine below. She’ll be a shrivelled mess by the time I receive my surgery only to end up finally incinerated while Neil and I glide down Italian ski slopes in February. I’m excited already!!

 

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I did write a blog about the wedding from my chemo chair yesterday but I was too tired to think straight, so deleted my half hearted attempts. My ecstatically happy, yet sleep deprived, adrenaline levels had kept me going strong all weekend until late Monday when my energy levels plummeted. All I could do was sit and let the world work hard around me. There was so much clearing to do from the marquee, but my HUSBAND wouldn’t let me do a thing. I just sat.

Early Monday morning Cara, Neil and I went for the review with Dr Liz Toy, my oncologist. It was hard to keep on track as we were still bubbling full with wedding memories, but there wasn’t much to learn anyway. My treatment is going very well and my body is coping well with all the drugs. We’ll continue exactly as planned with the next 2 weeks of treatment.

Also, which I forgot to mention, a week or so ago, we were told that my surgery date was provisionally 24th October, subject to me being fit enough and subject to his surgery list, so we’ve pencilled that in.

My main side effects are insomnia and constipation and I do have a few rash like spots appearing, but nothing that others would notice. Apart from that I’m fine. We couldn’t decide whether my insomnia was wedding driven or something else, so she prescribed me some sleeping tablets. I took one last night and slept over 5 solid hours. That’s a first since my treatment began 3 weeks ago. I never let my lack of sleep worry me as I am in the privileged position of being retired and can take a nap any time I like, which wasn’t really an option in the run up to the wedding, but I always felt full of energy to get things done. Worrying about not sleeping will only make it worse anyway. It’s only since Monday afternoon that I’ve struggled with tiredness and thats already resolved with a decent deep sleep last night.

I still suffer terribly from constipation, but I’d deliberately stayed away from the remedies as I couldn’t even imagine the horrors of mad dashes to the loo in my wedding dress!! I did make an attempt earlier in the week, but I was so rock hard that I woke up with the pessary stuck to my leg!! I gave up after that. Deirdre made absolutely no impact at all on the wedding except that I can’t really enjoy alcohol any more as it burns my throat on the way down. But then, I didn’t want to drink anyway as I wanted to remember every single moment of our special day and I danced until midnight as I always do. (Our first dance was to Bob Marley “Don’t worry ’bout a thing as every little thing’s gonna be all right”. All 210 guests sang along.)

Today I took the remedies which worked within hours, so all my side effects are once more resolved.

I had chemo therapy and radiotherapy yesterday and we shared our wedding stories. We took flowers into the various wards as everyone wanted to know how the wedding went. I was totally exhausted on arrival, but after my enforced sitting for over 4 hours, I felt so much better leaving. Chemo days certainly have their advantages. They are allowing me to continue with my cold cap too. Mentally it was a little harder to get into my zone yesterday as I arrived with a headache, but now my goal is to keep my hair for Xmas. Fingers crossed. A lady, about my age, with beautiful long hair came to see me with my cold cap as she’d like one for her treatment. She seemed like a really strong positive character and I could assure her that its really worth it.

And I feel lucky. So very lucky. There are patients there much much younger than myself being treated for cancer, and there are some who won’t make it, but most will. Modern medicine is so fantastically effective these days. I absolutely know that after surgery and the following chemo, I’ll be fine, and I’m very happy to go through this process ensure that happens. I feel great and so so so very happy. I’ve married the perfect man for me and he makes me so elated and happy. Thank you Neil for EVERYTHING XXXXXXXX

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Deidre can wait! We had the most wonderful wedding on 2nd September 2017. Sorry about random photos, but I haven’t mastered this yet and I don’t have Neil’s family photos, but here’s a taster of our wondrously happy day.

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I have to start with the fact that I feel absolutely fine. My hair has never been so well conditioned and all the drugs they give me to prevent side effects from the chemo have worked. No tingly fingers or sickness or a multitude of other possibilites. And I’m far too excited to feel tired, despite Neil’s protestations for me to rest.

On Tuesday my friend Jilly dropped me off for chemotherapy and returned laden with shopping. Oh dear, being my taxi driver can get expensive!! Thanks Jilly. I used the chemo session to plan the seating in the marquee on my laptop. 

Cara has arrived from London and came to radiotherapy with me this morning. They showed the her the huge machinery and she watched the screen with them as I was being zapped. We were home by 9 to get on with our day.

We are full steam ahead for the wedding on Saturday. The marquee is up and we have the huge job decorating it. Marc’s girlfriend Sarah got up at 3 this morning to buy the flowers from New Covent Garden in London and is now on the road to deliver them and start her mammoth task of making a multitude of arrangements. Marc’s presenter on Radio 1 has just made a ‘shout out’ for Sarah on the road and for Neil and me for our wedding. I can send you the BBC link if interested. He’s arriving tonight to join us with Tim and Hannah for a barbecue. The sun is shining!

We have a wedding rehearsal at 3 and American friends are popping in at 6 to say hi, which is great as they’ve not met Neil before. Friends are coming from nearby to help with the marquee today and the flowers tomorrow.

So thats it. Next time I come back I’ll be a married woman and a very, very happy one. Neil’s the best thing thats ever happened to me in my whole life, except for my children who are the best kids ever. All I had to do was drive an old car to The Gambia, zigzagging the Sahara and driving through a minefield in Mauritania, to meet the man of my dreams. Easy!

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Chemo/rad day…. (the laugh is at the end)

Its 1am and I can’t sleep so here I am after my first chemotherapy plus radiotherapy day. Neil left long before I woke up and left me a beautiful note. This morning he swam 60 lengths at Tiverton pool before work, reducing a further 1.5km from his 100km target, then he went to work until lunchtime, then on to Bristol to pick up his daughter Tessa, then on to Heathrow to collect his son Tim and girlfriend Hannah who’d flown in from Australia. The wedding is starting and its getting exciting!

Toni drove me into Exeter and we entered the Cherrybrook ward where they give the chemo. It’s so easy the second time as I knew exactly what to expect. In order to increase the blood supply to my veins to help find a decent vein to insert the cannula, I have to soak both hands in really hot water. I mean REALLY HOT!!! I’m a total wimp getting into a hot bath and this was no different. Slowly I immersed my hands, neither bravely nor quietly! We all giggled at my patheticness as the veins in my hands grew strong and bold. The nurse inserted the cannula and hooked me up to a saline solution then the pre chemo meds and on to the chemo.

I’ve decided to rename the cold cap the Ice Cap which is far more descriptive of its function. Before fitting it, they ask me to wet my hair and put on some conditioner to help it slide off at the end of the treatment. Last time I did this on my own, before the cannula was inserted, but today I had to ask Toni to help as I had only one hand free. We both went into the toilet at the corner of the ward, I leant my head over the tiny wash basin, and she started emptying jugs of cold water over me. It was FREEZING!!! Every time she poured a cup of cold water over my head I screeched and the 2 of us ended doubled up in hysterics. We crept back into the ward rather sheepishly to see everyone smiling at us.

They yanked the cap down hard onto my head according to my instructions to be as tough as they could to preserve as much hair as possible during the chemo. I warned Toni I’d need to go into my zone for about 20 minutes when she couldn’t speak to me as it worked so well last time. I’d close my eyes and get myself into a kind of trance as the fluid in the ice cap freezes tightly around my head. Somehow I can ignore the ice freeze headache, which subsides after a while. I guess the pain is eventually numbed away by the ice against my scalp and I’m fine for the rest of the process. Toni and I caught up with years and years of family history…. our Mum’s throat cancer, our families, our great kids, Toni’s grandchildren and the next wedding as Toni’s daughter Jane is getting married in December. We’d introduce ourselves to other patients coming in for treatment and chat to the nurses if they has a spare moment. There is never a single negative word from anyone in this ward.

Many conversations later, the chemo was over. We waited a further half hour for the ice cap to thaw then I took it off and we bid our farewells. We were 6 in the ward today and 3 had oesophageal cancer, possibly more as we didn’t ask everyone. Is this the big new cancer? I hope none of the other patients have mother’s called Deirdre!!

My second radiotherapy session was so much easier and so much shorter than the first. I wasn’t even in my zone before they came in to release me. Apparently the first session is always the longest as they scan the whole area again, like a CT scan, to gain the latest pictures of Deirdre and plan their attack. Soon I left the Star Wars room full of beans.

Now B&Q is literally on our way home! Oh dear. How can I resist? And Dunelm is next door! This chemotherapy is working out a little more expensive than we’d anticipated!! I bought some great solar lights for the bases of the guy ropes of the marquee just in case some guests enjoy a little more than just one glass of champagne! There are so many doctors coming to the wedding there’s bound to be trouble!!!

Toni and I had a relaxing evening at home and went to bed just before Neil, Tim and Hannah arrived at midnight. I was still awake and talked my poor, very tired Neil to sleep, then came down here to write this blog. The Dexamethasone steroid is still in my system so I’ll be awake for a while. I’d rather not take a sleeping tablet at this stage as it’s only one night. I’ll need them later I’m sure.

This next bit is not for the fainted hearted:

I wasn’t sure whether to include this next episode, but its 1.30am and my mind is still full of ideas. Billy Connelly is far more adroit at addressing the subject of bowel movements than I, but it has become an issue.

During my ‘forgetting to take tablets’ phase, I became really constipated, like never EVER before! And I do have history on this subject. Last Monday evening I left Neil and Toni for almost an hour trying to perform and failing miserably. By the end I was a little downcast and totally exhausted. Is this the real start of the hard stuff?(pardon the pun) Neil assured me they could help me today, so I ‘parked’ the discomfort for the night and enjoyed the rest of the evening with them.

I told the nurse this morning and she asked what I’d taken. I immediately fessed up that I kept forgetting tablets and continued with the anti sickness drug they’d given me….. but I was taking the wrong one. I was taking the one which caused constipation, not the weaker one which didn’t. Oh dear! But, as with many medical problems (especially in France),  there is an easy solution. A pessary!

I’m afraid this news sparked even more hysteria between Toni and myself as we recounted all kinds of revolting toilet stories. Soon we were both crying with laughter again.

Have you seen Billy Connelly’s comedy on this during his prostate cancer treatment? Its absolutely hilarious. He talks about gallons of s**t cascading from his rectum, setting his a*s* on fire and needing an icebucket to extinguish it.

I have to admit I was almost s*****ing myself already before even starting, so I changed into some loose black clothing and prepared for the worst.

Now…did you know that Neil is determined to save all of God’s living creatures? He saved the rampant mole last summer who created Picasso-esque shapes in our lawn. He saves every spider determined to put the fear of God into me, and he has saved the hornets nest right outside our bathroom window for a second year.

So there am I, poised in position, pessary inserted, nervously awaiting the worst when I realised that, come the moment, I couldn’t even open the f****g window for fear of a whole nest hornets flying straight up my arse (apologies for references to Billy Connelly’s dictionary)

The event came and went in the most natural and ladylike manner. It was nothing like Billy Connelly’s episode and to my relief (yet another pun) I was able to relax this evening in comfort with my lovely sister. The wonders of glycerine will comfort me forever!

Night night xxx

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First Radiotherapy

I’ve had a good week, or a bad week in one respect.  I kept forgetting to take my tablets as I keep forgetting all about Deirdre. I love it when friends pop in for a coffee and I’m always so busy with the wedding that Deidre is a distant blip on the horizon. For some reason this week I decided to polyurethane half the wooden furniture tops to protect them from water stains. Deirdre is spurring me on to get all sorts of domestic stuff done while I’m able.

Forgetting to take the tablets reminded me how effective they are. I’d start to feel a little queasy as my body was building up to expunge the chemotherapy drugs, but as soon as I took the tablet, it would settle. I also forgot take the steroid tablets at the designated times earlier in the day which would allow me to sleep at night, so I would go to bed so buzzing with energy. I’d have to get up and tick off a few more items off my wedding spreadsheet, but I did end up shattered later in the week. I’ve resolved to become a much better patient this week.

So…….radiotherapy every day for over 4 weeks! Hmmm! I’m being fried! My dearest sister Toni drove up from Dorset to stay a few days to drive me in. At least it frees up the phone at home as we can generally talk for hours. Now that I’m in treatment, parking is free at Exeter RD&E and we can park very close to the oncology centre. It all went very smoothly as the roads are empty with the school holidays and my sister chatted away merrily to the patients and partners in the waiting room.

Radiotherapy is a bit like experiencing a Star Wars theme park. I lay stretched along a long narrow bed in a large darkened room with my arms fixed above my head staring up at the barren ceiling. The nurses either side of me gently moved me into position using my tattoos and green laser lines to line me up correctly. Since they are going to deep fry Deirdre, they must get it spot on as there are other rather useful organs lying close by, namely heart and lungs! When I think of collateral damage, I used to think of American bombers making mistakes, but now I want my heart and lungs undamaged if at all possible, so I spent the whole 20 minutes not moving a millimetre.

A huge metal disk over 2 foot across rose up the side of me like a some menacing spaceship positioning itself to fire. It creaked and groaned its way into position as the rest of the machinery in the room whirred and hummed around me, beeping occasionally with lights flickering various signals. I stared straight up at the green laser cross of light directly above me. I barely breathed. Obviously I couldn’t see any x-rays, but as time went on I started having to swallow mucus forming in my throat. It was a little disconcerting as I didn’t want to move, but this reflex will increase as the treatment continues, so I might as well get used to it. Fluids build up in my gullet and I just have to swallow them down.

Finally the nurses came back in and it was all over. I was relieved, but not in any pain. For a few hours afterwards, I could feel a strange sensation in the area they’d treated, as though it was tender, but it wasn’t. I was tired going home, but then I hadn’t slept the night before as I designed the seating plan for the wedding. Today I felt like a real cancer patient for the first time as I’m firmly in the system now. But that’s good as the fight it on. I WANT treatment every day. I WANT whatever is is they need to throw at me. I WANT Deirdre GONE!!!

Toni drove me back to Neil’s surgery on the way home as I needed a blood test before chemo tomorrow. Neil was there working as a locust (giggle…I meant locum..Neil spotted it)  so we caught up with our morning, I had my blood test, and then we headed home. I was tired for a couple of hours as Toni and I sat in the garden chatting. But then normal life resumed as I had to talk to the electrician who’s wiring up the hot tub tomorrow. I wish I could be home to make sure he understands our requirements, but alas… The next chemo beckons.

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First chemotherapy

Day one of chemo! I found the whole process really interesting.

But first I must start by saying how warm, friendly and fun the staff are. There’s a lot of laughter in the ward and not a single grumpy patient either.

I have chosen to wear a cold cap during my chemo treatment as I am trying to preserve my hair for the wedding. They squeezed a very tight plastic cap onto my head which fills with a gel which freezes the scalp. The idea is to stop the chemo reaching the hair follicles to prevent hair loss ( fingers crossed). On top of that they squeeze on another scull cap, a bit like Jack Knowles’, ( Exeter and England rugby player) to hold everything in place. The strap sits very tightly across my chin. Neil looked at me for a while with a pained expression showing  he was hiding something. When I quizzed him he burst out laughing and admitted that he thought I looked like a hamster.  Honestly! But he was right with my puffed up cheeks and we both ended up laughing. Then as my head started to freeze, the rest of me heated up with a great big hot flush and the laughter continued. The nurse hadn’t seen that one before!

The ward had about 6 patients in very comfortable chairs with another comfy chair for a friend. It would be easy to chat away with others, but it was quite nice just sitting with Neil, chatting and getting on with emails etc. There’s plenty of tea and coffee available all day.

It’s all so clever and technical these days. I have a machine next to me with the drips being released into my system at a measured rate through a cannula (new word!) into a vein in my hand. Highly skilled nurses set it up and monitor everything. Neil remembers the days when doctors had to do all this and count the drips per minute to estimate the time it would take to administer the treatment.

At first the cold cap gave me a bit of a headache, rather like a migraine forming, but soon I got used to it. I was the only hamster on the ward but I didn’t care. The others aren’t going to be walking up the aisle in 3 weeks (I’m so excited). The only problem was that I had no ears and my glasses didn’t fit over the cap so I looked rather like a drunk with my lopsided reading glasses constantly falling off.

After about 4 cups of tea and coffee I realised I had to go to the loo. But how? My cap was attached to a long tube attached to a big box and my arm to the drip on its stand. I waited and waited until there was no choice in the matter and asked. The nurse simply unhooked the head part and I walked to the loo wheeling the drip along with me.

Only the drip line got wound around the drip stand and soon I was laughing and twirling around the ward looking like a drunken Martian. The hysterics didn’t help either and soon the whole ward joined in.

The loo part was an interesting dilemma in itself.  I had to hold the hat tube upwards in one hand and the drip stand in the other. I suddenly felt huge respect for the men.

After about 4 hours it was all over. They let my cap warm a little before taking in off and I could feel the ice in my hair. Good! as I hope it works and I feel absolutely fine.

Chemo’s not so bad. I feel relieved that the process has finally started.

Round 2 next Tuesday, radiotherapy next Monday.

These photos were taken at the end of the session. I’m fine!!

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I just thought i would pen to paper so to speak to support Ceri as she starts her Chemotherapy tomorrow and then starts radiotherapy  the next week. Ceri is already suffering my uprated cooking which has resulted in Ceri putting a bit of weight.It would be insensitive in the extreme to say how much but it will be good to have that in the bank so to speak when the onslaught on Deidre starts in earnest.Writing the blog today also gives  me an opportunity  to just give to and out praise to the way she is taking this head on . Not a moments pause for introspection or ‘why me’. As if to exemplify this we went on a 7 mile walk on Saturday up yo Clayhydon and the Half moon pub. We were disappointed to find it closed , but yours truly had squirrelled away some cold pizzas left over from our night of Pizzas in the wood from the Friday evening. The cider tasted really good however. As we walked over the beacon towards the monument we could see the M5 in the distance at a halt. The walk reminded me of what a beautiful area we live in . My job i all this Deidre stuff as perhaps you know is t swim swim swim . Accordingly i have done my 5km for last week mostly in the pool but a lovely swim in Port Isaac too on the Cornwall Big swim . I need to swim 40,000 lengths by New Year . So…. if you haven’t already donated to the Oesophageal Cancer Association now is your chance. £1,000 raised 4,000 to go

http://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/neilrushton1

 The photos are of dear friends Jonny and Els, with Cara Neil and Ceri waiting for our pizza in the woods, then Neil and Cara blackberry picking. 

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Hi. Some have asked to be notified when I update the blog as sometimes plans change. If you click on the ABOUT at the top of the blog I explain how you can ‘follow’ my blog. You click on the ‘Follow’ link at the bottom right of the top screen and it will prompt you to enter your email address.  Then you’ve done this, you should get an email every time I add a new post. 

Last week my plan changes so my first chemo will be on Tuesday 15th August and my first radiotherapy on Monday 21st Aug. 

Today, instead of chemo, we’ve been sailing with our dear friends Terry and Heather off Plymouth.  My son Marc has joined us from London. It’s been a beautiful sunny day.

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