I did write a blog about the wedding from my chemo chair yesterday but I was too tired to think straight, so deleted my half hearted attempts. My ecstatically happy, yet sleep deprived, adrenaline levels had kept me going strong all weekend until late Monday when my energy levels plummeted. All I could do was sit and let the world work hard around me. There was so much clearing to do from the marquee, but my HUSBAND wouldn’t let me do a thing. I just sat.

Early Monday morning Cara, Neil and I went for the review with Dr Liz Toy, my oncologist. It was hard to keep on track as we were still bubbling full with wedding memories, but there wasn’t much to learn anyway. My treatment is going very well and my body is coping well with all the drugs. We’ll continue exactly as planned with the next 2 weeks of treatment.

Also, which I forgot to mention, a week or so ago, we were told that my surgery date was provisionally 24th October, subject to me being fit enough and subject to his surgery list, so we’ve pencilled that in.

My main side effects are insomnia and constipation and I do have a few rash like spots appearing, but nothing that others would notice. Apart from that I’m fine. We couldn’t decide whether my insomnia was wedding driven or something else, so she prescribed me some sleeping tablets. I took one last night and slept over 5 solid hours. That’s a first since my treatment began 3 weeks ago. I never let my lack of sleep worry me as I am in the privileged position of being retired and can take a nap any time I like, which wasn’t really an option in the run up to the wedding, but I always felt full of energy to get things done. Worrying about not sleeping will only make it worse anyway. It’s only since Monday afternoon that I’ve struggled with tiredness and thats already resolved with a decent deep sleep last night.

I still suffer terribly from constipation, but I’d deliberately stayed away from the remedies as I couldn’t even imagine the horrors of mad dashes to the loo in my wedding dress!! I did make an attempt earlier in the week, but I was so rock hard that I woke up with the pessary stuck to my leg!! I gave up after that. Deirdre made absolutely no impact at all on the wedding except that I can’t really enjoy alcohol any more as it burns my throat on the way down. But then, I didn’t want to drink anyway as I wanted to remember every single moment of our special day and I danced until midnight as I always do. (Our first dance was to Bob Marley “Don’t worry ’bout a thing as every little thing’s gonna be all right”. All 210 guests sang along.)

Today I took the remedies which worked within hours, so all my side effects are once more resolved.

I had chemo therapy and radiotherapy yesterday and we shared our wedding stories. We took flowers into the various wards as everyone wanted to know how the wedding went. I was totally exhausted on arrival, but after my enforced sitting for over 4 hours, I felt so much better leaving. Chemo days certainly have their advantages. They are allowing me to continue with my cold cap too. Mentally it was a little harder to get into my zone yesterday as I arrived with a headache, but now my goal is to keep my hair for Xmas. Fingers crossed. A lady, about my age, with beautiful long hair came to see me with my cold cap as she’d like one for her treatment. She seemed like a really strong positive character and I could assure her that its really worth it.

And I feel lucky. So very lucky. There are patients there much much younger than myself being treated for cancer, and there are some who won’t make it, but most will. Modern medicine is so fantastically effective these days. I absolutely know that after surgery and the following chemo, I’ll be fine, and I’m very happy to go through this process ensure that happens. I feel great and so so so very happy. I’ve married the perfect man for me and he makes me so elated and happy. Thank you Neil for EVERYTHING XXXXXXXX