My 5th chemo and 17th radiotherapy

I heard some nice comments today at chemo. I asked why there are no other coldcap patients and the nurses explained that some keep their hair anyway and some others aren’t brave enough. That’s hard to understand as I hate pain and I’m not brave at all. I just wanted to keep my hair for the wedding so I was simply determined. As I described before, it’s just like a 20 minute migraine which I know will end. Today I’m so used to the cold cap that I fell asleep wearing it! It seems a shame if people lose their hair unnecessarily as once the first 20 mins are done it’s absolutely fine. And when it comes off it gives you that fantastic sensation of freedom and comfort which you get when you take your ski boots off at the end of an exhilarating day. I’m so glad I persevered as my hair has never been so well conditioned. It looks better than ever and I’m getting it cut on Friday.

Talking about skiing, Neil asked my surgeon today if we were mad to go ahead with our booked ski holiday leaving on 25th Feb 2018. He said go for it!!! What a goal that will be for my recovery. Many non skiing partners in our group go on interesting walks every day so I’ll have a choice of activities. Numbers are down this year so if you’d like to come, please email me straight away. We’re going to Canazei in the Dolomites in Italy for a week. The skiing is amazing as it’s connected to 12 other ski resorts. The group’s skiing abilities vary from nothing to  beginners to very experienced so all levels are welcome. We went there 2 years ago and it included a day in Venice on the way. This year we’re traveling via Innsbruck where we can spend some time. It’s always great fun for skiers and non skiers alike.

Anyway, back to Deirdre. I’m a strange cookie. I actually felt excited about going to chemo today as I’m nearing the end of this part of the treatment with only 1 more chemo to go and I’m very aware of the damage being done to me. Our dear friend Heather Radmore drove me in and the lovely Anna Lisa Taylor drove me home. Our friends are ganging up on me and won’t let me drive on chemo days. It’s so very kind of them as Neil was at work. I’m still very happy to drive on radiotherapy days as driving relaxes me.

And our friends were right really. I was warned that I’d start feeling very tired in these last 2 treatment weeks and despite my inner beliefs that I’m invincible, the oncologist was also right. I keep taking cat naps, and if I fall sleep I’m fine for quite a while. But then I am also recovering from planning a huge wedding so I’d probably be feeling tired anyway. We’re still mopping up the last wedding bits and we finally opened all our cards on Sunday. Thanks to EVERYONE for our cards and generous donations to the OPA charity. Neil reached much further than his £5000 goal and we are all so very grateful.
We’re going to support our local cancer charity FORCE with any further donations from the wedding and others. If you send cheques or money to me I can gift aid it in the donation. So far we’ve collected over £400. Thank you. FORCE have a friendly drop in centre at the hospital where we can chill with a cup of tea. Their volunteers come round all the cancer wards with free tea, coffee, sandwiches and biscuits for family and friends alike. Without this we’d be ordering lunch from cafes etc. They counsel people struggling and give massive support to families. They subsided my wig (which I’ll need with the next post-op chemo) and give free massages and beauty treatments for us patients. As our hair falls out and our faces pale,  these caring people become will invaluable to us keeping our spirits up.
The side effects of my treatment have started now and I can see why everyone told me to put on weight as I’m struggling to eat. I’ve been getting ideas from OPA and I’m experimenting with different foods to find out which travel easily through the radiated area of my throat. Anything warm and bland with no spices work. Luke warm sweet tea is good. The area at the bottom of my gullet is very sore inside due to the radiotherapy. Cold and hot drinks hurt too much and I have zero interest in alcohol. I’m doing my best to keep my weight up and polished off most of a huge cheesecake left over from the wedding which is great. I ate a Sunday roast in the pub. So long as I chew hard and eat warm food which doesn’t stick to anything then I can eat. But I am having towork very hard at it these days.
Also I’ve developed a skin rash on my arms and chest. Neil reminded me that our skin is our largest organ and all my organs are being battered by the chemotherapy. Out came Mole Valley’s cow’s udder cream today. I smiled as I applied it. I’ve got some expensive cream but it’s perfumed so maybe Mole Valley ( where every decent Devon farmer shops for everything a farmer needs) is the beautician of the day!!! It does make me giggle although I’ve only used it once on my arm. 
I’ve been affected rather painfully “down below” as the late northern comedian, Les Dawson would have confided whilst dressed rather badly in woman’s clothes and pointing south behind his baggy skirt. A fungal infection. Fortunately my GP ( aka Neil for prescriptions) ordered remedies for me to collect from the local dispensary so it’s already under control. My poor body is receiving a massive assault on my healthy tissues, but can you imagine what Deirdre is receiving? She’s being poisoned into extinction and burned alive by this machine below. She’ll be a shrivelled mess by the time I receive my surgery only to end up finally incinerated while Neil and I glide down Italian ski slopes in February. I’m excited already!!