Wednesday:

I have to start by saying I feel absolutely great as I’ve just had my last radiotherapy. They always ask so many questions about my health, but really they want to know if my heart and lungs are OK. This ‘collateral damage’ has always been at the back of my mind during radiotherapy which is why I haven’t moved a millimetre in the sessions. I don’t feel I’ve been damaged at all (fingers crossed) as Neil and I walked up the beacon last evening and I was fine. I’m not fit, but that’s just a matter of time. I will be, and thats the point.

So……. yesterday (Tuesday) I had my first hiccup, but rather a nice hiccup. I’m not sure if I’ve said before, but I’ve had to have a blood test every Monday, before each chemotherapy session to check that my white blood cell count is strong enough to withstand the treatment. Well yesterday, they called me in early as my white blood cell count was very low from Monday’s test, and maybe things might have improved during the night. Neil and I jumped in the car and set off for Exeter.

They fitted the cannula straight away and took my blood and we waited. Fitting the cannula isn’t so easy as the treatment progresses, as the veins in my hands and arms get thinner and it took a second nurse to find a suitable vein. I kept smiling as they were doing their best, but I did think “ouch” more than a couple of times. In the mean time the doctor came to see me as they’d noticed the skin rash on my arm which I explained had spread to my back. I don’t mind any of these side effects as they seem so insignificant compared to the horrendous reactions I thought I might get from chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I just needed some steroid cream, that’s all.

The nurse returned with the blood test results which she discussed with the doctor and they concluded that my white blood cell count (150 instead of 350) was far too low for me to receive chemotherapy. For a while both Neil and I thought we’d have to come back later in the week, but no!! I’m done!!  Cooked! This particular chemo was designed to expose and weaken the Deirdre cells for the radiotherapy to kill them off, and since I only had 2 more radiotherapy treatments, I’d need no more chemo!!

WOW!!!! The END!!! No more damaging chemo for a long while, no more cold cap to contend with, or masses of steroids to keep me awake at night and all those pills I’ve been taking to counteract side effects. Suddenly it was all over and even my hair has rarely looked so good as I’ve been so careful with it.

So off we went for a quick trip to radiotherapy and Neil drove us home. Tiredness being the main side effect, I grabbed some sleep and then, as it was such a beautiful day, we walked up to the beacon. I needed the fresh air and that beautiful view, and maybe I was testing myself a little. I walked slower than usual, but apart from that I was fine. We sat on the hand crafted Millennium bench watching the house martins swoop around us, as we gazed across the rolling Devon valleys to Dartmoor in the far distance. It’s a breathtaking view which differs with every visit, with the changing light, winds and weather.  And later that Tuesday night, pill free, I slept 10 hours!! Wow.

Today, our dear friend Wendy, drove me in for my final radiotherapy, then we went shopping to Dart’s Farm to celebrate. Its a huge local store full of design ideas, Aga equipment, sporting goods, great local food and more. I can put all my treatment behind me and focus on the next stage, which is to get well and fit.

We have 24th October pencilled in for surgery, but nothing has been confirmed yet and I have a CT scan booked for 1st October to see the results of all my treatment.

I’m sure I’ll need blood tests to keep an eye on my white blood cell count. With little immune system operating in me at the moment, I need to avoid crowds as any infection I might pick up could be pretty nasty. Neil reckons I should be OK in a week.

Thursday:

Since I have promised to be very honest in this blog, I’ll explain how I am physically at the end of this first stage.

Tiredness: Alas, I didn’t sleep well last night, so I guess it might take a little while to return to normal sleep patterns. As long I can grab some sleep during the day, I recover well and enjoy a normal life. I’ve been dying to get on with jobs around the house such as painting and gardening. Finally we’ve organised the tool shed. Yay!

The radiotherapy has been burning and killing cells in the base of my oesophagus, so it feels a bit like a dead weight sitting above my stomach. Swallowing has become pretty painful, especially drinking water so I’m trying hard to keep my fluids up by sipping. I’m off tea, coffee, alcohol, fruit juices and anything acidic. Luke warm sweet milk is good. Our friend Pip made an amazing smoothie the other day with cucumber, apples, grapes, spinach etc etc and it was delicious. A few foods I love and slip down relatively easily, but others get stuck and I have to walk around the room a few times to give it chance to pass though. Its more unpleasant and inconvenient than terribly painful. I eat very carefully and stick to bland flavours as I no longer enjoy herbs or spices. Of course, all this will improve each day I heal, post treatment. I’d love to be able to swig down a cool glass of water when I’m thirsty.

The final side effect is skin rashes. Well, I HAVE to disagree with the advice I was given about Mole Valley mint scented udder cream. Its AWFUL!!! When the rash reached most of my body a week or so ago, I smothered myself with the stuff before bed. I stank and stuck to the sheets! Ugh!! The mint made my skin so cool that I had to switch on the electric blanket, so the udder cream scent filled the bedroom. I felt like a giant sticky Kendall’s mint cake. If I hadn’t been so tired, I’d have showered it off straight away, which I did first thing in the morning. And I washed the sheets. This stuff is designed for cows’ udders and is definitely not for me. I’ve gone back to my faithful Dove products. Neil says he didn’t mind sleeping next to a Kendall’s mint cake and might use it one day!! NO WAY!!! Its going straight to the kind farmer next door.

So, apart from being a recluse for a week, life will get back to normal. We’re hoping to go away for a holiday before surgery, but we cant plan anything until we have a confirmed date. We’ll keep walking up our beautiful beacon and beyond as I get fitter and fitter. I couldn’t feel better.

These photos were taken before the wedding by our wedding photographer Jonathan Neale of Exeter. We’d thoroughly recommend him and his wife Isobel as excellent photographers and such a pleasure to work with.