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I can’t decide whether I’m totally exhausted from the best hen weekend ever! Or the sedative they gave me this morning for the Endoscopic UltraSound scan. My Facebook friends will see us ladies laughing all over Dartmoor then eating cream teas then home for Prosecco, a delicious buffet meal and a lot of laughter

For years I’ve been wanting to introduce my university friends to my Fleet friends and others, to my Devon friends, and this was the perfect opportunity. We all got on so well, all being pretty fit, and I feel very loved and very happy. I wish I could have included more dear friends so I hope they meet at the wedding. Neil was totally unfazed by meeting these bright, lively and friendly ladies. He then headed off to meet his friends at a local music festival dressed in his customary coloured striped jumper and outlandish socks. He looked a very happy chap and a good time was had by all.

Today’s scan was pretty much the same as the endoscopic scan I described on the 6th July. Another lovely Italian nurse, male this time, made sure I knew my name(! as they all do), asked me various questions for his forms, then inserted the needle receptor thing into my arm. He asked if I was worried about needles. I said I wasn’t and asked what he would do if I’d said yes. He’d have administered the needle with me lying down in case I fainted instead of sitting in a chair. He told me he knew I wasn’t worried as I am so relaxed, and that the worst worriers were big burly men with tattoos! I changed into a robe and waited to be called. I’ve never had to wait to long to be seen.

Again I lay on a bed in a darkened room. They attached the sedative to the thing in my arm and placed the mouth guard to protect my teeth. That’s all I remember until I awoke in the recovery room. They inserted the probe down my throat which sent out sound impulses which compiled an exact picture of Deirdre’s shape and size. The physician this time knew Neil, so explained what he’d seen after my scan while I was still fast asleep as the sedation wore off.

The great news is that it hasn’t spread at all. It’s 5mm wide in most places around the base of my oesophagus but 11mm in one spot. This thicker area might well need chemo to shrink it before surgery. He also told me that the PET scan confirmed that it hasn’t reached my lymph nodes which is also great news. The MDT (Multi Disciplinary Team) will meet on Thursday to decide my treatment.

There are positives about both ways to treat this. Surgery first, means it’s all over before the wedding, but I’ll feel a bit weak as its pretty major surgery. Chemo first could be administered in a way to make me almost symptom free for a few days around the wedding so I’ll have more energy to enjoy it. I really don’t mind what they chose as I have so much faith in them that they will chose whatever is best for my health and I’ll be happy with that. My brother David has explained how lucky I am that it hasn’t spread since I’ve had it for so long, so I really am counting my blessings.

And throughout this busy weekend, Neil has cooked, washed up, cleared up the huge mess left my my party, even though a few hens did a great job. He’s been wonderful and all the hens LOVE him. I’m sooooooo lucky and we’re both still feeling very very happy.

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Today we met the surgeon, Mr Richard Berresford,  who could not have been more charming, warm, friendly and helpful. We liked him very much and he has a great reputation for his surgical skills and his caring way with patients.

Unfortunately the results of the PET scan hadn’t reached him, but he was extremely encouraged by the results of the CT scan. In 95% of the cases, the PET scan doesn’t reveal anything more than the CT scan, which shows Deidre as a pathetic little runt which can be removed surgically. However, there is still a possibility that she has seeped into the muscles of my oesophagus, and if this is the case I will need chemotherapy first. The only way to find this out is from the endoscopic ultrasound scan next Monday 24th July.

That’s basically the results for today. Mr Berresford showed us the video of the CT scan on his computer screen which was fascinating. The scanner moved from the top of my throat down as far as my stomach. The video showed a cross section of my chest with the oesophagus appearing as a dark hole in the middle and various healthy organs around it. As the film rolled downwards he kept saying ‘normal’, ‘normal’, ‘normal’, then he reached a part just above my stomach where the wall of my oesophagus looked thicker. We were staring Deidre right in the face and zapping her with our laser beam eyes (I wish!).

Since surgery only is still an option, we asked about possible dates. He couldn’t promise anything, but thought 1st August could be a possibility! That’s fantastic. It would give me four and a half weeks to recover before the wedding and I’d definitely walk up the aisle. I could organise a throne in the marquee while the party continues and if I’m tired I could be like a queen sitting with people attending me.

If its chemo, we are still planning on going ahead with the wedding, but there are chances I could have side effects which could make me very unwell, but maybe I won’t! I could be absolutely fine. So the wedding plans continue. We’ve got all fingers and toes crossed for surgery on 1st August.

The only other test to add is that before meeting the surgeon today, I has an echocardiogram. I had to lie on the most comfortable bed ever!! The nurse came in and placed a probe with cool gel gently on various places of my chest, listening to my heart glugging away happily. No problems there.

So this weekend is my hen party. Some of my oldest friends whom I barely see, and some of my newest Devon friends are joining me for walk on Dartmoor, then a cream tea in a hotel in Dartmoor, then home for a casserole. Neil will be rocking away with his friends in a local music festival and hopefully will meet everyone at some point. I’m really looking forward to it.

Our next job is deciding on place settings for the wedding. That will keep us entertained for a while.

And if you are a friend on Facebook, check out our hot tub! It will be such fun when its up and running, but don’t mention Deidre.

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Its the middle of the night after my PET scan. I’m not worried, but for some reason I’m not sleeping so I thought I’d write down my emotions during all this.

My mother died of throat cancer when I was in my final year of university. She was such a strong, positive, intelligent and optimistic lady. She could have beaten anything given the chance, but sadly she was diagnosed far too late for the medicine at the time to save her and she died in 1975.

When I’ve had tough or stressful times in my life, I’d often get heartburn and a feeling of having a lump in my throat. I’d think of Mum, but then would tell myself off for being silly and antacids seemed to cure it. So when my problem swallowing started to become an issue after our travels to S America, I was already suspecting Deirdre might be lurking in the shadows. Maybe these experiences have helped me come to terms with Deirdre as quickly as I have.

We were glad to have the tests straight away and felt so sorry for my doctor and friend Lorna having to break the news to us. She was composed and supportive and a lovely doctor, but it must have been hard. Neil, Lorna and I all hugged, but the moment the news was out the optimism set in. This will be beaten.

The hardest part was trying to tell my children Marc and Cara. We waited until the morning after my brother David’s wedding a few days after the results. Its a s**t thing to have to tell one’s children and the only time I’ve been unable to get the words out. We were travelling with their lovely partners Sarah and Andrew, all of us squashed into Neil’s car on our way back to David’s house. I could feel the warmth of their love and the sadness of their emotions flow from all four of them as Neil gently explained all that we knew at this early stage. I was sat between Marc and Cara as they composed themselves, holding my hands tightly and asking sensible questions. I felt so proud of them as they took this news on board and I was so glad they had Sarah and Andrew with them. We are all in such a good place in our lives.

The NHS was now operating at full speed and the appointments rolled in. Neither of us have cried another tear or felt an ounce of doubt that this is curable. The wedding plans are continuing, which is a story in itself involving sheep … or rather the lack of them.  We had a great choir practice tonight as they’ll be singing for us. Neil works two or three days a week as a locum doctor at his old practice, we are still hanging paintings and ordering furniture for our new home, sorting out the sheds and the garden. I played golf a couple of times but have realised that with all the appointments coming up and all that has to be done that I’ll have to suspend my membership until this is all over.

What I hadn’t realised is the time this would all take. The time it takes to explain to our friends what’s happening, the appointments we’re attending in various towns and cities. We’ve had so many supportive calls and emails and we feel very loved. This is why I started this blog as a way of keeping everyone up to date with progress. I try to answer emails but please accept my apologies if some are not answered in the months to come. We are learning to switch off in the evenings and simply relax and put our iPhones away. Well, that’s in between our busy and happy social lives.

We feel so strong as a couple. I have never felt so loved or so happy as I am with Neil who has been wonderful. He keeps telling me he’s my Rock of Gibraltar and I believe him. Our seven adventurous years together have been some of the happiest of my life. I’ve found my soulmate. Our families have come together, we have a beautiful home in Devon and so many wonderful friends supporting us. I feel really strong and blessed, and with all this strength and Neil at my side, Deidre doesn’t stand a chance. Our positivity is quite genuine. We laugh easily, relax easily and love each other very much.

All will be well.

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PET scan done. Yay! I couldn’t eat for 6 hours before so I’ve just wolfed down a huge sandwich and some biscuits and I’m typing this waiting for the kettle to boil for a much needed cup of tea. They offered me tea and biscuits there, but I wanted to get home quickly as we have choir practice tonight for our wedding and I didn’t want to miss it.

So…..today, after breakfast, I drank copious amounts of water ready to flush the radioactive substance out of my system after the scan. I drove to Taunton and did some shopping as its the best distraction for not eating. The nurse was great as they all are. She’s also getting married in September so as we chatted wedding stuff as she put a needle into my arm with a syringe attached which emptied the substance into my system. I was then left alone an hour for the radio active liquid to get absorbed into all my cells ready to highlight those which were abnormal. I dosed for an hour or so on my own which was probably good for me to relax. Then they led me into a huge room with a long narrow bed which would roll in and out of the huge scanner surrounding the bed. I had to keep my arms above my head for about 20 minutes as they rolled me in and out, scanning me from my knees up. It wasn’t too claustrophobic as I cast my mind back to wonderful memories I’ve had over the years and totally ignored what was going on in the room. Climbing Kilimanjaro with Neil seemed to be a big one.  My biggest challenge during the process was an itchy nose half way through. Don’t you just love hayfever!

And then it was over. I drove home and quickly typed this up. I’ll probably modify it tomorrow, but I thought I’d get it out that I’m absolutely fine and it all went well.

Tuesday

We’re meeting my surgeon for the first time on Wednesday (tomorrow) and we’re hoping he’ll have the results of the PET scan to give us an idea of what’s where. He probably won’t have had time to meet my MDT team to discuss a treatment plan but maybe he’ll have some idea of options. I still have one more endoscopic scan to have on Monday at Exeter (more shopping!).

Neil and I are meeting the vicar at 11 to discuss the wedding ceremony so I need the get the order of service finalised. I’ve got 20 minutes!!! Must dash……….

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There’s not much to report today except we now have some dates. Monday 17th is the PET scan in Taunton as described before. Wednesday morning I have an Echo cardiogram where they scan my heart with ultrasound and straight after that we meet my surgeon, Richard Berresford, for the first time. We’ve been told he’s reeeeeally nice and we suspect we’ll have an idea of the treatment plan after chatting to him. On Monday 24th July I have an endoscopic ultrasound and that will be the end of the investigation stage.

I had a lung function test on Friday which meant me blowing hard into a machine to record my breathing. It was far less stressful than the breathalyser I did 35 years ago. I couldn’t make the little tester register and the extremely unfriendly policemen kept threatening to arrest me for messing them about! Honestly! I was so nice to them too. After pleading to have another go, on my third attempt I had just enough puff and passed. Phew. This time I had a lovely Portuguese nurse who said I was great. Thats what I like to hear!! We’ve met quite a few European male and female nurses throughout this, reminding us how great it has been to be part of Europe.

Neil and I are enjoying life as always. We went to an Amnesty International bonfire party last night with many friends which was such good fun and ended up dancing the night away to 3 friends playing guitars. I’m absolutely fine, which will be the case right up until the treatment starts.

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Great news!!! I received a letter today informing me that I have a PET scan scheduled in Taunton for July 17th at 15.30. How fast is that!! We are really excited that they are moving so quickly. Thank you NHS. Apparently we get the results within a few days. They’ll need to do other the tests too before we meet the surgeon who’ll tell us what’s next.

My brother David is now home from his honeymoon. It wasn’t easy news to come home to, but he’s performed many of these oesophageal surgeries himself and is a great resource for information and advice. He has patients 20 years on from this surgery still sending him Xmas cards.

The team at Exeter are wonderful, pushing things through and communicating everything. I’ve been really impressed by how organised they are. With Captain Neil at the helm, I’m feeling very looked after.

And our lovely neighbour Rosie has delivered a load of sign posts for our wedding. Its a massive favour. Thank you.

And…..Neil has sorted out his wedding suits. Yippee!! We are feeling very organised indeed!!

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Last night a group of us decided to name my unwanted cells Deirdre and raised our wine glasses to the Demise of Deirdre, which turned into DEATH to DEIRDRE by the end of the evening. Marc, Sarah (Marc’s girlfriend) and Cara have arrived for the weekend and had a great time.

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While travelling around S America, I started having problems swallowing. Certain foods would get stuck at the base of my oesophagus and I’d have to drink water (or wine!) to shift it. Since we’ve been back, it has been gradually getting worse so Neil suggested I call my doctor who immediately referred me to the Exeter RD&E hospital.

On 27th June (just after a wonderfully sunny Glastonbury) we went to RD&E and I had a Gastroscopy. I chose the sedation option so I cant remember a thing about it. They inserted a camera down my oesophagus and could see some different cells near the bottom and took some biopsies. The physician explained what he’d seen to Neil while I was coming round, using euphemisms about the possibility of cancer, but could not confirm anything until the results of the biopsy. This gave us both time to come to terms with what was happening.

The next day I had a CT (Computerised axial Tomography) scan which indicated that whatever it was looks local with no spreading. Tomography means the scan is done in slices.

Neil and I had a great time at my brother’s wonderful wedding on Saturday 1st July, so on the Sunday we were able to tell my children Marc and Cara and partners, face to face, about what was happening and we have all been awaiting the results of the biopsy. After just a few days, it was confirmed that I have an Adenocarcinoma of the oesophagus.

Today the hospital held an MDT meeting (multi disciplinary team of physician, surgeon, radiologist, nurses etc) to discuss the results and decide on a treatment plan. They have referred me for a PET scan at either Taunton or Plymouth hospitals, depending on which is available first. (PET stands for Positron Emission Tomography). They will inject me with a radioactive substance and scan me with gamma rays. This scan detects in far greater detail any spread of the tumour. Hopefully it hasn’t spread as suggested by the CT scan. The radioactivity I will be exposed to is equivalent to living a year in Denver so I won’t be glowing in the dark 🙂

I will also have an endoscopic ultrasound examination to gather further information and they will conduct heart and lung tests to make sure I’m fit for surgery which will probably be performed by Mr Richard Beresford in Plymouth.

So at this point we are looking at 2 possibilities:-

1. Its local and they will operate as soon as possible so that I’ll be up and running before the wedding.
2. Its spread and I will need 9 weeks of chemotherapy before surgery which would then come after the wedding.

Neil and I feel really positive and optimistic about the outcome. We are continuing our daily lives as normal and are busy planning the wedding, sorting out the garden, buying furniture for the house etc.

We are both being very open and honest about everything and happy to discuss anything. I’ll update this blog after every test for those who are curious like me, but there won’t be any real news until after the PET scan. I don’t have a date yet but it will be within the next 2 weeks. I’m afraid I don’t know how long I’ll have to wait for the results of the PET scan yet so I’ll ask soon.

As you can imagine, this has added a rather busy situation on top of all the wedding plans, so I’m hoping this blog will answer all your questions. Of course, if you need to call, please do. I’m so grateful for all the good wishes and support I’ve been getting from our families.

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Hi all.

I promise I’ll try to keep this blog less rambling than our South American escapades…..maybe! With our big wedding planned for September, this is to keep friends updated with my progress.

The bad news is that I have oesophageal cancer and the good news, hopefully, is that it looks local to a small area at the base of my oesophagus and therefore operable. This cannot be confirmed until I have a PET scan within the next 2 weeks.

Not particularly liking the word cancer, and after a few glasses of wine with friends, we decided to call my unwanted cells Deirdre. Neither of us has ever known a lady called Deirdre, so this particular Deirdre will be banished forever as this blog progresses.

This blog will be our story from the discovery of Deirdre and our journey back to my full health. It is an easy way for Neil and me to keep our friends up to date with progress so feel free to read and pass on to anyone interested.

Here are some quick links;

• The start
• PET scan
• Hen party
• Surgery decisions
• Radiotherapy tattoos
• First chemotherapy
• First radiotherapy
• Some side effects
• Our wedding
• Description of the operation
• Post op
• Homecoming
• Second chemotherapy – didn’t start
• New chemo
• Skiing
• The End

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